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I'm a daughter hiding my depression.
I'm a sister making a good impression.
I'm your friend acting like I'm fine.
I'm a young person pushing her tears aside.
I'm the girl sitting next to you.
I'm the one asking you to care.
I'm your best friend hoping you'll be there.


After my News Writing class on Thursday, I was SO desolate I NEEDED to go home.
Actually, it was after News Writing… I wrote Scott (my bro) and my mom early that morning telling them to get me as soon as possible.
I can hear Dane Cook in my head saying, “Fuck School.” (He has a sketch where he says, “Fuck Shoes.”)
I’d been up all night studying and writing… I couldn’t sleep even if I hadn’t had things to do.
It was one of those nights where I couldn’t stop thinking long enough to get some rest. Those nights have been happening way to frequently. On top of that, I get these really vivid dreams. These dreams are so vivid I wake up exhausted and wondering if they actually happened.
Viv and I have been eating breakfast with Dan in the mornings. In a way, he could be my younger brother. That’s how I look at him and I hope my epic fail of a friendship with Ben won’t affect that.
Sadly, home didn’t do much console me.
I ate my beloved pasta. I watched DVR with Dad. At night, I went on an adventure to King St. to hang out with Alex from my LGI class. He told me I was the first girl he’d ever brought to the house. I met all his housemates and they apparently liked me.
I’m not sure about the situation. I really do like Alex. He’s SO nice. It would break my heart to hurt him and I’m not ready for another heartbreak.
Since I came home, I started thinking about JM. I’m still infuriated with him, but I miss him to an extent. I decided to apologize via Facebook. He hasn’t respond. It’s very hypocritical for him to expect me to forgive him the multiple times he’s screwed up, but the one time I do, nothing.
Later, I went to see Drake and Tony. Drake and I had been texting back and forth for hours. A friend of theirs fell and was in a coma, so they decided to stay in for the night. After a long, frustrating time, I drove over and quite a few people I knew were with them. I really enjoy hanging out with those crazy, light-hearted people. Drake and I had a great time catching up on lost time. He told me all about his first day substitute teaching and complicated pool operating systems.
GREAT MOVIE: “While You Were Sleeping”
Alex asked if it would be too bold to spend V-Day together. I didn’t know what to tell him, but the last time I celebrated V-Day I wasn’t too impressed. I told him I’d be in Athens and I don’t care for V-Day. We’ll see what happens.
Scott didn’t want to come back to Athens for Sibs Weekend.
Viv, Ian, Nate, and I went to Court Street to get dinner.
Later, Viv, Ian and I met Rachel and Shaun at Donkey.
Shaun told me he thought I’d been trying to sabotage his relationship with Rachel when he first met me.
BUT now we’re bonding and can share her amicably.

TBC

So tell me, what hurts more?
Thinking you should hate him, or knowing you don't?

I still believe that all you need is love. -John Lennon

In-Between laughing for no reason,
Stupid Arguments, Long talks and making fun of each other...
I fell in love with you.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

Being strong is important; but knowing who you can count on is equally important.

&When I first met you, I never would have imagined that I would have such strong feeling for you. I never would have thought that I would have dreams about you or miss being by your side or get butterflies in my stomach when someone mentions your name. When I first met you I never would've thought that I would love you.

Meeting you as fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling head over heels for you, I had no control over.

I love you, and trying to explain why is like trying to explain how water tastes, completely impossible.

I hate the way your constantly smiling when I'm around. I hate the way you eyes light up when they meet mine. I hate the way you walk, talk, and act.
Wanna know why?
They're the reasons I can't let you go.

Hey gorgeous, don't let him know he got the best of you. It's okay if you cry over him, because I know your pain. No one else gets how much it hurts until it happens to them so whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm her for you.